Thursday, 19 November 2015

Friday, 6 November 2015

Tips for when your life feels simply out of control:

Credit: dream by buttonheart/Chloe Price

This has nothing to do with alternative things. Unless you count the occasional sense of nihilism and chaos that is stereotypical of the goth and Punk scene. Either way, I've been feeling a bit out of control of my life. Here's the things I did to make me self feel slightly better.

  1. Create a Budget:
    I made a spreadsheet to help myself make sure I was saving the right amount to meet all the necessities and taxes.

    Is money stressing you out? Even if it isn't the direct source of stress in your life right now, chances are it's something floating around in the back of your head. Money management is one extra source of stress regardless of your situation. If things seem spiralling out of control, then money is the first place to start to feel in control again. Maybe its social situations stressing you out, plans for your future, event planning ,trip planning ,work things going awry etc. The trick here is to use your budget as the pillar of solidity in your life. If you can get your budget and spending under control, then you will have one thing to fall back on as your “at least I'm doing okay here.” A balanced budget is solid proof that you will be okay, you will make ends meet, you will get through the year. It may also reveal some areas where you need to cut back. Can't afford that trip you're stressing about? Now you can plan exactly how to save to afford it. Apartment issues driving you crazy? The budget will help you estimate how much you can afford to pay to get out of the lease or how much to save in order to afford to relocate to a nicer place. Social life getting out of control? Use the budget to see how much you can really justify on spending on crazy outings and use this as a way to learn to say no when you financially can't take on more.

  2. Make a Schedule:
    I make lists of to do's, but I started putting all events and deadlines into a digital calender that I can access anywhere. No more forgetting my paper agenda.

    Time is another key factor in maintaining control over your life. Think of a schedule as a budget for your time. You only have so much time to give out, and you are allowed to be selective about what you spend it on and who you spend it with. Use your schedule to get on top of deadlines, plan events and dates well in advance, and quickly avoid time conflicts. Remember to schedule “you-time” – time at the desk to address important tasks, time to do your laundry, time to wash the floors and bathroom, time to do the dishes, time to exercise and time to eat. If you aren't taking care of core self care tasks and chores then it's very easy for your life to feel at crisis. Just like the money budget, the schedule can be a useful tool for learning to say no to people / activities when too many things are piling up.

  3. Do something to your appearance:
    I got a hair cut, threw-out old ratty clothes that I had been holding onto, and got some soap that was better for my skin.

    Your body is entirely your own. You can do what ever you wish to change your look. Try dying your hair a new color, try getting a hair cut, try a new make-up routine, try going make up free, try a new outfit. Go as bold or as temporary as you'd like. Even if it's just for a night, changing your appearance can be a way to reclaim control over a simple aspect of your life. Your outside appearance is entirely in your control, regardless of other events in your life.

  4. Evaluate your situation and current events. Take Action Now.
    I learned everything I possibly could about the issue and started my own action plan to eliminate the problems.

    Is there a specific event that triggered this feeling of being out of control? Or is it a stream of several different events causing you anguish? Lots of things can happen that will make your life feel absolutely wild. Lose your job, suffer through a break up, face a basement flood, face a bug infestation, face planning for a future that seems totally uncertain after graduation. Sometimes major events, (or even minor events) happen that are 100% out of your control. Evaluating how you got here is important, learning from past mistakes that may have contributed to the issue is incredibly important. But that point of reflection should occur once you've reached momentary stability. If the situation (or crisis) is getting out of control then at this point there is no use sitting around wallowing in all the things you wish you did differently to better prepare for the situation. Instead, take action. Look at the things you can do right now to fix the problem. Accept what is out of your control (you can't change how others feel, you can't stop the storm from damaging things, you can't stop bugs from hitching a ride on your neighbor's dog and making a home in your unit). Then plot a course of action that you can be in control of (apologize to those who need apologies and move on from the social dilemma; grab a mop and call a plumber; start cleaning and call an exterminator; start sending out resumes.) Take small steps, plot small wins, and remember that you will make it through the crisis to the other side.

  5. Reflect
    Not okay yet, but I will be. And that's okay.

    Once the crisis is stabilized, at least momentarily, reflect on the issue. What was the cause? Was there any thing you could have done to prevent it? What can you learn from the situation? Some times there is truly nothing you could have done; not without having some form of future sight. When you find there's nothing you could have done accept it. Give yourself permission to forgive yourself. Even if you could have prevented it, remember that we all make mistakes. And now, you might have an understanding of preventative measures to take avoid this problem in the future. Implement that plan. Preventative measures can also often be used to prevent a situation from growing even more severe than it already is.

So there's my rant / survival guide for general stress without many specifics at all. I hope some one else finds this useful.

Here's some music:

Thursday, 5 November 2015

Sharing: I'm a nihilist, but a passionate one. Okay?

Recently I read this quote: 
I love being horribly straightforward. I love sending reckless text messages (because how reckless can a form of digitized communication be?) and telling people I love them and telling people they are absolutely magical humans and I cannot believe they really exist. I love saying, Kiss me harder, and You’re a good person, and, You brighten my day. I live my life as straight-forward as possible.
Because one day, I might get hit by a bus.

Maybe it’s weird. Maybe it’s scary. Maybe it seems downright impossible to just be—to just let people know you want them, need them, feel like, in this very moment, you will die if you do not see them, hold them, touch them in some way whether its your feet on their thighs on the couch or your tongue in their mouth or your heart in their hands.
But there is nothing more beautiful than being desperate.
And there is nothing more risky than pretending not to care.

We are young and we are human and we are beautiful and we are not as in control as we think we are. We never know who needs us back. We never know the magic that can arise between ourselves and other humans.
We never know when the bus is coming.”

Rachel C. Lewis

It made me feel a bit better about life.

Here's some music that's been entertaining me:

I work in an office...

In high-tech.
I try to tone down things for the office but sometimes I wear weird things too...

The office is what has been taking most of my time lately.

Outerwear for the cold weather!

I hate the cold.
But I use it as an excuse to wear more of the things I love at the same time.

Saturday, 27 June 2015

Sometimes I get frustrated with the music industry and people and music elitists.


Also heres the view from outside my apartment:

More blurry photos...

That's the skirt I made to wear tonight to the (potentially last ever) Chiptunes gaming night / geeks-and-bleeps goth night at Swizzles. Come out and enjoy the music and video games.

Thursday, 25 June 2015

Things to do:

Part of me just wants to quit. Honestly, over the last few months I've had a hard time keeping up with everything, and with recent events I feel like the scene has gone into a deep freeze.

Industrial night is over.
And now Retro night and Geeks & Bleeps at Swizzles will likely end as well.

Going out to events, many are often sparse, few people attend and the scene is quiet.


I also want to keep supporting the artists I love, and trying to make it out to shows and events.
And I keep going out to other things as well. Because even if goth and industrial have shrunk and dispersed, Ottawa itself has a thriving underground scene. Interesting bands, punk shows, art shows, maker markets, coffee shops, conventions and festivals. All the things I never knew about when I was a teen that led me to think that Ottawa was boring because nothing cool happens here. But cool things are happening and I want to share. And Toronto and Montreal aren't far, well worth the visit when possible, so I'll share significant things about them too.

This blog might not have as many updates for a while. But when I can I'm going to post interesting things. Even if this blog turns into a list of alternative and interesting events, I think I'm okay with that.

Sooo here it is. My current list of neat things to do:

Chiptunes / Geeks and Bleeps
THIS SATURDAY. Possibly the last official one.
10pm - 2am
Swizzles Bar and Grill

No Cover.

Disconnect :: Dark electronic music with an industrial edge.
Every 2nd Saturday of Every Month.
10pm - 2am

No Cover.
Swizzles Bar and Grill

School of Bass #49 featuring KyljaK, Type Zero, Kadet P, Lazirus, Garidose!Saturday July 4th 2015
+19 with valid photo I.D. required.
NO COVER with non perishable food donation, otherwise $5 at the door.
Swizzles Bar and Grill
246 Queen st (basement)

Outdoor Movies
Various Locations, All over ottawa
Various Prices (often pay what you can)

See the schedule here:

Animal Inside Out - Exhibit at the Nature Museum
Animal Anatomy displayed in detail
On display until September 30/15
Canadian Nature Museum
Varied Prices

Local Punk Garage Bands
July 15
$8 - All Ages
July 25, 3-5 pm
All are welcome
G-Anime SummerAnime Convention
July 18-19
Full Weekend event
(varied cost)
Palais des Congrès de Gatineau

Atomic Lollipop (Toronto) 
Electronic Music and Anime And Comic Convention
July 17-19
Full Weekend event (varied cost)
Toronto Convention Center 

The Casualties at Mavericks

August 15th
Mavericks (221 Rideau Street)
$15 advance | 19+ Event
Tickets will be available at Vertigo Records and

Aftermath - Industrial Gothic Music Festival (Toronto)
August 27-29
Phoenix Concert Theatre 
Full weekend event
$150 (hotel cost not included)

And lots of other things.
I'll post more as I find them.


Friday, 19 June 2015

Ottawa lost an iconic DJ last night

Last night, DJ Leslise (Leslie Hodge) passed away. She was an influential part of the Ottawa alternative scene, especially the goth and industrial scene. She was the leading force behind projects like Zaphod's Industrial night, which ran for over 20 years every Tuesday night at Zaphods Beeblebrox Bar. When that ended she quickly founded the group responsible for Retro Night and Geeks-&-Bleeps Night at Swizzles Bar, which ran every third and fourth Saturday each month. She frequently put the music and scene she loved first; she made it a priority and kept the scene in Ottawa shining.

I didn't know Leslie closely. We were acquaintances, having shared a small conversation here or there. I wish that I had been able to know her better, and I wish that I had been able to express to her my gratitude towards her passion and enthusisasm. I'm glad to say that the last time we spoke I said thank you to her; thanks for all that she'd done for our little Ottawa alternative scene. But I wish that I could have said more; that I could have known her better.

She was a connection between so many people. If it weren't for her and her dedication, I would not have met many of the people I am close to today. I would not be as involved in the Ottawa underground. And I would not belong to the same beautiful subculture and social circle.

Rest in Peace Leslie. Thank you for being an inspirational spirit. May you find a beautiful beyond.

Sunday, 10 May 2015

Photos from ComicCon.Such amazing

ComicCon was a blast. I found some fantastic books, and as usual there were some amazing talented artists and fabulous geek-goth clothing and merch.

The highlight was seeing Marina Sirtis & Jonathan Frakes (Deanna Troi & Will Riker from Star Trek TNG) at a Q&A. They were full of energy, funny and social. They told lots of fun stories and kept us all smiling. Yes, deep down I am a sci fi nerd, probably more geek than goth but I'm alright with that. These sorts of events attract such a wide variety of people, from geeks, to punks, to goth, to moms and kids and elderly. Its a unique opportunity to see so many types of people in one place all reveling in their quirkiness.

I hope you enjoy these photos, just a few of my favorite costumes that I spotted. (If you spot yourself and want credit for your talented costume, or would like the image removed, do let me know!)

Knitted Night-Crawler!

A personified Notebook from "Don't Hug Me I'm Scared"

Intricate armor and weapons are fantastic! 

Wait for it....

The wings expanded and folded! 

Saturday, 9 May 2015

It's warm out!!!

I'm done university.
I have a job.
And there's finally leaves on the trees.
Things are very happy indeed.

Things are happening!
Comic Con is already going on. One more day. You should be there.
Next weekend theres a goth Pop-up Shop, Decypher.

Decypher is an online alternative store, that occasionally visits Conventions and similar events to sell funky clothing, shoes, accessories and novelties. If you are in the ottawa area and love fun and different clothing, this is definitely wort checking out. 

Friday, May 15 - 11:00am - 7:00pm
Saturday, May 16 - 10:00am - 6:00pm
Sunday, May 17 - 10:00am - 5:00pm 
129 Holland Avenue 
For transit takers, you can take the #86, #2 or get off at Tunney's Pasture Station and walk approx. 10 min. along Holland Avenue to Wellington.
More details on the facebook event page. 

The last few months have been pretty insane, wrapping up loose ends with university and such. But Hopefully I can get back to more frequent posting. You can expect some photos from Comic-con soon.

Stay fabulous darklings.

Wednesday, 28 January 2015

Last Weekend at G-Anime

I had a great day at the con. I met some neat people and encountered a Zombie hunter (?) that I challenged to a duel! :P 

And then at the after party I won a gift bag with super neat socks and a signed photo of Kudrel. 

G-Anime was a small but fun Convention. I had plenty of Frnehc and Bilingual programming, but I felt that there could have been more in English. I played some fun video games, Giant Jenga, Giant Connect Four, and Just Dance.

Tuesday, 20 January 2015

Things to do:

Fun things happenning Soon!


From new media guests, panels, workshops, activities, and special events, G-Anime has it all.
2014-2015 illustration par Alix Mia Lagassé Gallant
 G-Anime is the premiere anime convention in the Ottawa-Gatineau area, founded in 2009. The event is all-ages, and includes a wide variety of programming to meet many different interests.
There will be a dealers room, games of all kinds (board games, video games, party games), panels, improv, a cosplay masquerade and more.

When? G-Anime happens this weekend (January 23-25)
Where? Palais des congrès de Gatineau, Gatineau, QC
More Info

Swizzles Alternative Nights
246 Queen St, Ottawa, Ontario K1P5E4

Swizzles has started hosting alternative nights on the 3rd and 4rth Saturdays of every month!

G-Anime After Party 
This weekend is a special G-anime after party. The night caters to cosplayers as well as darker subgenres with electronic music, industrial music, goth music and a cosplaying competition. Opening the night from 10pm until around 11:30ish will be guest DJ Phillogic followed by DJ Leslie. Also present will be local Pro Cosplayer, Kudrel, acting as judge of the cosplay competition. 
When: January 24, Saturday, 10:00PM - 2:30AM

Chiptunes: Gaming + DJ
The regular geek-meets-goth night will be moved to January 31. Similar electronic and industrial music, plus a variety of video games station can be found in Swizzles on these nights. 
When: January 31, Saturday, 10:00PM - 2:30AM
           (Normally, Every 4th Saturday of the month)
Retro Underground
This night is for the trad-goths and old school alternative folks, and it features the best of what was known as "alternative" back in the late 70s, 80s and early to mid 90s. Genres you'll hear include Industrial to goth, EBM to techno, new wave to cold wave, and oldschool electronic music of all kinds. 
When (Tentatively): February 21, Saturday, 10:00PM - 2:30AM
            (Or, Every 3rd Saturday of the month)

These nights are brought to you by DJ Leslie and friends (Lots of people are getting involved, but I don't have a list of everyone that is :P ). These nights are regularly NO COVER!
I'll try to post reminders for these nights when I can, and provide links to the Facebook Events when they appear.


Listening to:  "Tear Garden" - IAMX

Wednesday, 14 January 2015

A quick trip to Amsterdam.

I spent the last the last two weeks travelling. On our way back there was a 5 hour layover in Amsterdam. I was happy to have some time to explore the city, but I didn't get much of a chance to see many museums. I did do a bit of shopping, and drank the most delicious hot chocolate in a lovely cafe.
We arrived in Amsterdam very early in the day, so not many things were open.
But this Candy store looked amazing from the outside too!
There were candy stores, bakeries and cafes on almost every corner.

And so many cool posters for shows and events. I'd love to see this city come to life at night.
Even in the middle of January, on a grey, rainy morning, the flower market was buzzing with activity.
This store was positively amazing. It carried all kinds of alternative styles: Gothic, Victorian, Lolita and more...

...And the interior felt like walking into a fairy tale. The store sold clothing, trinkets, oddities, and jewelry.

This strange creature was carved into one of the elaborate displays in the store. 
There were so many thing that were still left to see. I didn't make it to the art museums, or the "Amsterdam Dungeon" (above), or the Red-light district. All the more reason to go back. 

I was a pretty good way to spend a layover, and I can't wait until I can go back and spend a full trip in Amsterdam!

Friday, 9 January 2015

Going out.

 Actually this is from a while back but I never posted the images. I don't even remember where it was that I had planned on going. But I liked this outfit so sharing is caring :P 

Listening to: nothing at the moment.